Today two major events happened. Isla got a phone, and I ended up feeling like the worst mother in the world.
The phone thing was discussed for a long time, it’s pay as you go, for emergencies, and it’s only to be used when she goes out, for example to the park on her own. She was obviously thrilled to bits so we called to get the £10 voucher that came with it. The automated lady kindly informed us the credit would be on within 24 hours. Isla was desperate to test it out.
My kids are 7 and 10 and go to the park on their own quite a bit, it’s about 2 minutes walk from our house, they usually see friends there stay for about 10 minutes and come home again, if not I walk up and tell them time is up.
I’m not sure what went wrong today. On the way home from my mums, we passed the park, Isla asked if they could stay for 10 minutes, she would test out the new phone and come back. I agreed. Then I remembered I had to run to the shops (which is about 2 minutes the other way) I suggested they stay there, I’ll nip to the shops and then come back for them. Isla wasn’t sure about it.
“Can’t you just go home?’
“”Tell you what, I’ll call you from the shops when I’m leaving ok?”
“Ok then. don’t be long”
Off I drove…. If I’d just looked in the wing mirror 10 seconds after, I would have seen that Isla had changed her mind and was now running after the car crying. Unfortunately I didn’t see this, and went on my merry way to the shops, picked out my stuff and stood in the line. The lady was slow… must ring Isla when I get in the car…hurry up lady…
As I struggled with my bag I heard my phone ringing, I thought for a second Isla’s credit had gone on and she was calling, but when I looked it was a number I didn’t recognise. I answered as it rang off. Getting in the car I call her. She is beside herself.
“Mum, why did you leave us at the park, I said we didn’t want to stay”
“Isla, calm down, where are you?”
“At the..(sobs) the neighbours”
“Which ones?”
As it turns out our neighbours are lovely, but to be honest we hadn’t had much to do with them before my children sought refuge from their abandoning mother there. I felt really stupid picking them up, Isla sobbing, Iden wondering what was going on, me looking sheepish, like I’d come to collect my lost wallet or something. I was grateful to them, and I was pleased Isla did the right thing, but wow, did I feel bad.
I really struggle with the whole independence thing, Isla is desperate for it, but then panics and changes her mind. It’s like when you have a toddler and they run around all fierce, then suddenly come running back to hide behind your leg.
I’m still waiting for social services to come knocking on the door and tell me I shouldn’t leave my kids hanging around the neighbourhood.
Ask your mother in law about how we let our kids do some things that today we’d be put in jail for. I say some if it builds charachter and independence. Mine were on their own at home for 1 hour after school until I got home from work each day. Thank goodness I had a neighbor with kids that could run interference until I could get home.
Isla’ll be better next time. She’ll realize that nothing bad happened while you were gone. But then on the other hand we tell them about all the wierdos out there in the world…
Thanks Julie, yea, I let myself in after school too, but the number of times I forgot my key and ended up at the neighbours was too many to count!
Things have changed alot, kids too. I was at the park with my brother from about age 5 or 6, it wasn’t a big deal then – there were no phones so you just came home when it started getting dark haha!
Isla will be ok we just have to get the balance right! She has agood head on her shoulders so we must have done something right!