Did you know Michael Jackson died?

So Michael Jackson is dead!  

I realise I’m not exactly first with this news, but hey, there might be a few stragglers out there who don’t know, to them this is big news, don’t ruin it for them.

I personally can’t believe it, I mean, I didn’t know him, and not really gonna ‘grieve ’ exactly, but still,  it’s it’s weird right?  He was just always there. Actually I’m listening to him right now, and there are so many great songs I had forgotten “Who is it” for one.  Ace song!  I know there was alot of ugliness in recent years, and as a mother of a small boy this obviously made me uncomfortable, however, I loved Michael Jackson’s music.  I remember being about 13 and thinking ‘who would be the coolest person in the whole world to walk into the room right now?’ No question – Michael Jackson (but only if he wore just the one glove)

I don’t really have anything else to say about it , except it’s just weird!

On a completely different note, Isla had her cheerleading competition yesterday at the velodrome – ridiculously long day!  Had to be there at 8.45 am and it finished around 3.45pm.  All day watching cheerleading  -ALL DAY! I actually love watching it, and most of the time want to join in and bust out some moves, I could probably so them a thing or to, but don’t want to embarrass my daughter, so I refrain. Anyway, even for me it was too much!  Also I must be getting old cos it was so loud!  The people hosting it were like really bad DJ’S, it was like being at a shit wedding, I couldn’t understand them half the time – all echoey and thumping music the whole time.

 After about 5 hours they started announced the winners of each group, and Isla’s team won!  It was so funny to watch all the middle class mothers lose their composure for about 30 seconds “Fucking Yes!” jumping up and punching the air – ‘That’s my girl” then, realising people could see them, they all starting smoothing their skirts down and tucking their hair back behind their ears and sitting back down again.

Anyway I was so pleased they won, I was proud of each and every one of them, they really were excellent, and it really made the long day worth while!

Well done Sparklers! x

My living room smells of vomit and my cat has fleas…

So just another day today here.  

After trying desperately this morning to swap our money round in an attempt to generate more, I was rudely interrupted by the school secretary again.  I’m beginning to wonder if she had me on speed-dial.  This time it was to tell me to come and collect one of my small people who had vomited all over the classroom floor.  It was probably a good thing I was disturbed since I was just getting to the point where you realise it doesn’t matter how many times you shuffle money around, there still isn’t actually anymore than there was when you started.

I get to the school, and see the sight a million mothers and fathers have seen before me, and will after me – your child, sitting there, miserable, tear-stained faced and hunched over, complete with best friend (or sometimes teacher) and the bowl, the wonderful school bowl, at this school it’s a white, washing up bowl, but any bowl will do.  Growing up, we had the “orange” bowl, it was a mixing bowl, for baking  cakes, or making play dough, or you know, just throwing up in  I can still hear the shouts “Get the orange bowl – quick!”  I actually inherited the orange bowl, it’s in my daughter’s bed as we speak.

So Isla came home and fought it as hard as she could.  It always amazes me how my two kids can be so different.  Isla is so strong!  She’s gonna be a tough cookie.  Independent and fierce but with the biggest heart there is.  She gets up every morning at the crack of dawn, gets washed, dressed, gets breakfast for her and her brother, helps to sort him out, and then comes to wake me up. (That was a slight exaggeration, please don’t call social services.)  Anyway, she HATES being ill and will do anything not to be, even after throwing up twice, her main concern was the fact that it’s the last cheerleading practice tomorrow before the competition on Saturday.  To her, this stomach upset was just a mere nuisance - she just wanted to get on with her busy life.  Iden on the other hand is like me when he’s ill, and that is Ill = sleep.  All I want to do is sleep, Just sleep for as long as possible and eventually sleep yourself better.  It’s actually lovely when Iden is home from school he just curls up on the couch, not Isla she wants to go ten round with it and show it who’s boss.

Continuing on from how different my kids are, yesterday was a prime example.  Never in a million years would Isla do what Iden did Never, ever, ever ….

We’re standing outside school, all the kids had just come out, people everywhere.  I was chatting away to a friend who’s son is in Idens class and wasn’t paying much attention to their conversation until I see Iden un-tucking his shirt and standing with his arms stretched out to the side.  ”Come on then, Woody, Do it if you dare”  Before I knew what was happening, Woody, (who is not one to refuse a dare) yanked down Idens trousers, but managed to get the boxer shorts in too, only to reveal my darling boy standing there in all his naked glory!  ”Iden!”  I shouted in horror, but all this did was attract the attention of all the parents/teachers/children/dogs etc that hadn’t actually noticed in the first place, It felt like the whole school saw my son with his meat and two veg out.  Needless to say Iden and Woody thought it was hilarious, as for me, mortified doesn’t even cover it.

Of course, when I told Moss he thought this was hilarious too,  but he didn’t have to do the stern face and say “Well you should be VERY embarrassed going into school tomorrow, how will you look your teacher in the eye now?”  On a different note, I had to tell Moss to stop sending me pictures of Green Day rehearsing, it’s cool for about 30 seconds and then i remember that I’m not there, and it’s actually hugely depressing.

Oh yes, I nearly forgot, joy of joys, the kitten has fleas, I say this as if confessing to a murder, I know it’s common, but god i hate it!  I don’t know how he got them, the only time he’s been outside was when he fell out of the window (please read “My day from hell” below, before calling the RSPCA) they must have all jumped on him as he crashed to the concrete ground.  Anyway, I am on a mission to destroy the little bastards.

Finally, I left my job, well it was more a case of  ’here’s the door, whenever you’re ready.’  Actually I feel very liberated… bored….broke, slightly worried, but still, liberated in there somewhere, I’m sure of it…

Me and Billie joe armstrong.

So Rehearsals for the Green day tour start today in San Diego and today is the day that Moss finally gets to meet the band.

 Jealous? me? You must be joking!  I mean, it’s not like I’ve followed them from back in the day or anything.  No, I couldn’t care less,  I did however mention to Moss that as pay off for him being away for so long, I could maybe meet the lead singer of this band that I’m not even that bothered about.  I think his name is Billie joe something?  Not too sure. Anyway it just so happens that Moss is quite well in with his PA, so he said today that there was quite a good chance of me meeting him at the “meet and greet” in Oct when they play Manchester – whatever, I’ll see what I’m doing that day, I’m certainly not changing my plans around for it.

 

Seriously though “Meet and greet”??  doesn’t he know who I am?.  Apparently not!   I thought I’d see what else I could get, so I suggested to my husband, that instead of just the usual “hi nice to meet you, I’m a huge fan’ and quick snap shot,  that maybe, just maybe, me and my friend Billie Joe, could have a little chat over lunch perhaps, maybe swap some eye-liner tips, or you know, go for a drink on the tour-bus…..Apparently this was a step too far.  What?

The world will end in….

So Iden is going through the “deep” phase at the moment.  Lately we’ve had questions such as ” who was the first person alive?”  ”Why do people think I’m famous?” and more recently “when is the end of the world?”

He asked me about the end of the world this morning while we were rushing round, late as usual and he just came out with it…

Me: Iden, shoes please!

Iden: Mum?

Me: Yes Iden, but your shoes on while you talk

Iden: Umm, so when is the um end of the world?  

Me; well fingers crossed it’s not today, so let’s just get your shoes on.

Not the correct answer I know. but I was rushed and taken completely off guard.  Anyway lucky for me the conversation was resumed just before bedtime, when those pressing questions play on 6 year old minda.

Iden: Um so um about the end of the world…when is it?

Me:  well I don’t really know Iden, it’s…

Iden:  I think I know…… I will be here for it

Me; Really?  when is it?

Iden: well um, you don’t need to worry, it’s not for a very, very, very, very, long time.

Me: Oh ok, well that’s a relief, how long have we got?

Iden: Um, probably about a month.

Me; Right. Brilliant.

So there you have it folks, don’t say you weren’t warned!

ugh!

Feeling really drained tonight.  Iden was off school today, he had a temp and felt sick.  Isla had a huge melt-down tonight, she just kept going and going until she said (or actually screamed) the dreaded phrase “I want daddy”  Those 3 words just kill me, it’s like a bolt of electricity, they make me feel like the worst parent ever.  I don’t know why, I think it’s because I feel so sorry for her.  I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be 9, she’s obviously having a hard time, but I felt like screaming “I want daddy too, this isn’t my ideal situation you know” (which I obviously don’t.)  It’s rough at this stage because really we haven’t even started, he ’s only been gone a few weeks and we have till Sep, the concept of that amount of time to them is just huge.  Sometimes I feel so weighed down with the amount of emotional baggage there is to carry.

My job situation is a joke, well pretty much non existent at the moment.  It’s a real shame when people take the piss out of you, but to be honest I don’t even know if it’s a fight I can be bothered to fight, I could turn it around and use the time to write, which I plan to do just as so as I get the ol’ self-motivation back.

Wow, just re-read this blog – it’s a barrel of laughs isn’t it? ha, anyway I’m sure tomorrow will be better, here’s to positive thinking!

Idens first football match.

 

Thought I’d put up a few pics from Idens first football match.  As you can see the kit was way too big for him, kept having to pull his shorts up!  Didn’t stop him doing some excellent defending though. Couldn’t help wishing my dad was around to see it though, he would have been proud.

 

Interview with Iden – aged 6. What happens when you die…

Thought I’d take  a few minutes with Iden tonight before his story, to get his take on life and death.  Tried not to sway him either way so to get his own opinion – resulted in a very confused kid…

Me:  So Iden, what happens to you when you die?

Iden:  You come back to life.

Me:  Do you, as what?

Iden:  Well only if you go to heaven…What you think about, you come back as..

Me:   What you mean what you thought about when you were alive?

Iden:  No um, when you’re um dead, and you’ve been buried, well what you’re thinking about you come back as.

Me:  Oh right, so what if you fancy coming back as a sheep?

Iden:  You can come back as anything you want.

Me:  Can you come back as a radiator?

Iden (Laughs)  Noooooooooo

Me;  Does it have to be something that’s alive?

Iden:  yes.

Me; Oh and where did you learn about this?

Iden:  From a science book

Me;  Right ok….So, you said something about heaven earlier…What’s heaven?

Iden:  Err it’s heaven.  Don’t you know?

Me:  Yea but what is it?  Where is it?

Iden:  Way up above the clouds

Me;  Right so you go up to heaven, then decide what you want to come back as and then come down again?

Iden:  Well sometimes you can go to heaven, and sometimes you can get burried, and sometimes you can stay on earth, but when you stay on earth you turn into ghosts

Me:  So who decides whether, you get burried, or go to heaven, or stay on earth?

Iden;  you do.  Or you could get burnt up…or burnt down

Me; oh cremated? yes that what grandpa did

Iden;  Did he choose?

Me; yes, and gran.

Iden (screws up face) what her bed got burnt down aswell?

Me; No sweetheart, it happens after you die.

Iden: yea I know that….but anyway sometimes you just die..

Me;  I know. so what happens if you haven’t decided what you want to do after you die?

Iden; Then you go to heaven.

Me;   so if you haven’t decided if you want to go to heaven or stay on earth…

Iden;  Err staying on earth isn’t a choice.

Me; how’d you mean?

Iden; well staying on earth isnt a choice, if you don’t decide then…

Me : if you don’t make a decision about what you want to do?

Iden;  Then you have to stay on earth and be a ghost…I’ve seen a ghost

Me; have you what did it look like?

Iden: Well I didn’t see it’s body cos it was all………………Mum?

Me;  Yes?

Iden:  Can we just get on with the story now.

It’s all change…

If being a parent has taught me anything, it’s that you should never get too comfortable, because things will always change.  Just when you think you’ve got the whole parenting thing down, a new phase of the unknown begins. 

My kids are 6 and 9 so the whole baby/toddler era seems worlds away to me, but I still remember the horrendous sleepless nights, the teething, dummies, moving onto solid foods etc.  At the time these things were huge great issues, you wonder what is the right way to go about things, will your child be scarred for life if you do it ‘wrong.’  There is a world of judgement on you if you don’t do things in the suggested way.  To be honest I’m so glad I’m not at that stage anymore and have no plans to go back!

No, I’m much more comfortable with a walking, talking, thinking being.  Don’t get me wrong there has still been issues over the years – we’ve had the tantrums in the shops, the biting, the bad dreams and more recently the clashes with kids at school.  Still, all in all, so far I think I’ve been on top of things, I think I’ve handled things the best way I know how, and that makes me happy.

I think once school starts you get into a more fixed routine – of course things change, but it’s more gradual, they learn to read and write, form friendships, make their own opinions on things, begin to have their own little outlook on life.  It’s a really beautiful time to watch and listen to their views.

So, that said, things have been ticking along quite nicely for the last few years, kids are thriving, happy, doing excellent at school, and sub-consciously I must have fallen into that trap, you know where you think you can do the parenting thing, and maybe even do it well.  Until recently…

Isla has spots, as in teenage spots.  Let me clarify again she is 9.  Not only this but overnight has developed the attitude of a 15 year old.  To be perfectly honest this scares the hell out of me.  I imagined my innocent angel would stay the way she was until, say  13, 14 NOT 9 for god’s sake.  It’s driving me insane!  Tonight I went on an emotional rollercoaster just watching her, we went from “You are SO mean mum, you don’t care about me” to “I love you SO much mum, you are beautiful and the best mum ever” to laughing about nothing, then crying about nothing!!  I just about caught up with one mood and it changed!  Now just hold the phone a sec, I remember this, but I remember being that way around 14.  Maybe I’m wrong, I’ll have to ask the mother, but either way I don’t feel prepared for this at all.  Since Isla was born and knowing the way I was, I always dreaded the teenage years, I knew I’d get my comeuppance, I just didn’t think it would start so soon.

I’ve been doing a little research and it seems  that it seems things are changing, on-set of puberty is beginning earlier, for a number of reasons one of them being the amount of growth hormones pumped into our food and hormones in the milk we drink.  Some of the articles were really alarming, talking about 2 year old twins with under arm hair and 7 year olds starting their periods – I completely freaked out at this, I had to stop reading, but it seems this is not all that uncommon.

I think Moss leaving has probably contributed  to the emotional stress for her, but I’m hoping that this is something that takes years, and years, and years, and years.  I know she has to change and grow but in her head she’s still a baby, she’s completely innocent, I think she’s the only one in her class that doesn’t know how a baby is made – or comes out!  I want to keep it that way, not forever obviously. but until she asks.   Maybe I’m naive or maybe I just want my little girl to be a little girl for as long as she possibly can.

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Roll on Monday

Well, the school holidays are nearly over, and dear god am I glad!  This last two weeks have been so stressful, with the kids off,  Moss in the states, Ben in Norway and my mum going on holiday , I have suffered some major abandonment issues, and because of this, innocent people have suffered!

This said, I was impressed with the amount of people who stopped over this week.  Katie came and spent the night (high flying solicitor) and even tolerated having tea with my kids, AND watched them while I nipped to my mums to feed the cat!  Stu came round but that was because he  was filming at a top secret location in Wythenshawe and needed me to print out directions for him.  I was even graced with my brothers presence last week after his return from Norway, he came and stayed over which was entertaining and slightly hectic as always.  Oh and then there was Steve, who popped over and tied his dog to my washing line and broke it, although that was actually my kids fault for taunting the poor dog with fresh kitten meat!

So just two more days to go till normality is resumed!  Tomorrow Iden’s football match is cancelled AGAIN, this time due to Inter-Macclesfield (try saying that with a straight face) having a presentation, so it’s footie as usual, probably in the rain.Then Back to work Sunday night, which I actually can’t wait for, mainly to have some adult conversation.

So roll on Monday, peace and quiet and a chance to get on with some washing, cleaning, sorting, cooking, ironing, TV watching, reading and most importantly writing.